Amazing, Simple Home Remedies

I received this today from my good friend Jingly Jane. It’s nothing to do with SEO, spam or IT, it simply amused me and I hope it amuses you. Apologies for the capitalisation throughout the amazing simple home remedies content, I simply cut and paste, as I don’t have the time to type it all out today.

I suppose I should point out that it is intended as humour and is NOT self-help advice from me, or anyone else for that matter - just incase there are morons reading the blog that take things literally! 

Enjoy

AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

If you have any more amazing, simple home remedies, send us them in a comment and we’ll publish them on the blog.

Update

I’ve just checked the net and found this has been printed on a few other blogs previously, so it’s not new, but still, it amuses for a wee minute or two!

One Response to “Amazing, Simple Home Remedies”

Big Geordie Says:

Additional Amazingly simple home remedy: Never, under any circumstances, take laxatives and sleeping pills on the same night :)

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